WHY I BECAME A "LIFE-PURPOSE" COACH

My decision to become a life-purpose coach was taken neither lightly nor automatically.  In truth, that label--bringing to mind a muscle-bound man in T-shirt, blowing a whistle--seemed presumptuous to me at first.  But the decision was the natural result of my own mid-life journey to regain wholeness; to discover my own Life's Work.  Having emerged from the crucible of mid-life, complete with its confusions as well as its transformational aspects, I try to bring to my practice those things that have made my life worth living.  After decades of helping clients attain financial security and self-sufficiency, it became a comfortable transition for me to begin to focus on the larger issues of purpose and meaning which were always implicit in the financial planning process.  I had been helping them keep their promises; but so many were silently struggling with what promises to make.  So now, I have chosen to assist those who seek their own path toward a meaningful and purposeful life.  The following summary of my quest is not meant to be the model, but only as a sharing of my own path.

When I turned fifty at the change of the Millennium, I began to awaken to the urgencies of the next stage of my own life; to become conscious of the world as it really is and my place in it.  My family had arranged a wonderful surprise party for me on that dreaded day.  I enjoyed and greatly appreciated the wonderful surprise, seeing many dear friends, and being the subject of both so much affection and teasing.  But in truth, those who had gathered to celebrate the day with me, all very dear to me, had very little understanding of how I had evolved as a human being -- especially during the decade that preceded it.

The marker event of a 50th birthday and accompanying vacillation afforded me that rare opportunity to take stock; to review the course my life had taken and the many roles I had been privileged to play.  I was a father of three great kids, married for 29 years to a wonderful, understanding and loving life partner (my college sweetheart). I had enjoyed contentment and success in my career.  I have been blessed with loving, energetic and multi-talented extended family, as well as many friends around the world.  I had experienced living in various parts of the US and traveled the globe.  I had come to my own understanding about what my life was to mean and living a life consistent with my most basic values, social concerns, talents and gifts.  The decade leading up this point had been especially difficult for me, as it tends to be for many men trudging through the swamplands of mid life.  Other harbingers of change began to knock on my door.  I was beginning to have strange dreams, some bordering on the surreal.  As I began to review my life's experiences, I became more and more convinced that some hidden force was leading me toward a deeper understanding of what my life was to become.

Decades earlier, my travels as in international banker had given me the opportunity to visit exciting places in Europe and Asia, exposing me to many cultures quite different from those of my early life.  Having been a foreign exchange student in high school, cultural awareness and appreciation had long been an interest of mine.  But as I waded into the waters of middle age, I became fascinated with authors whose books I would pick up and read on my long flights.  My reading interests seemed to expose me to certain common themes, which led me further in my quest for a deeper spiritual connection with life.  I developed a habit of going immediately to the indexes of books I was reading to gain clues of the sources and writers who had influenced the author.  Now, having had significant life experiences, the knowledge I sought was guided by my own inner vision and curiosity, aided by intuitive hunches that inevitably lead me on the next steps.  I was now seriously pursuing fields of knowledge and wisdom only touched on in my university days.  The name of C.G. Jung appeared ubiquitously in the indexes and bibliographies of the works that interested me most.  But the mentors, like Jung, who I was discovering, seemed to be whispering into my ear the knowledge and wisdom that I craved as I wandered through the dark woods of mid life.  I became a student of psychology, philosophy, religion, history and many other fields of my particular interest.  My intensity and personal quest became a significant distraction from my career interests at times; but somehow I knew that I must continue in my studies, even while I could not articulate why.

During this same period I had a parallel interest in discovering my life's trajectory in relation to a larger timeframe.  This led me to an intense curiosity about my family history, about how my own ancestors had influenced my own thinking and personality.  As a father, I had become aware of how my ways of relating to the world were affecting the lives of my children.  My curiosity about my family's history had even prompted me to select American studies as my major in university, and to learn German as my required language.

I have taken the reader on this rather long journey, to demonstrate the value of following one's hunches in life, without certainty of reward, often guided by an intuitive inner compass.  I had learned to follow my nose, my instincts, and to be open to whatever and wherever the search may lead me.  My journey since my eye-opening trip to Germany has exposed me to some of the most wonderful and interesting people I had ever met.  Some I have met in my own city.  Others I have met through the astounding synchronicities of cyberspace.  I was eventually elected to the board of directors of the Friends of Jung of Kansas City, an experience that has greatly enriched my life.  One of the richest experiences for my wife and me has been our participation in a group of people who desire to share their life's stories with one another through tales, poetry, drama and prose.  The power of such intimate sharing of life experiences has been transformational for us all.

More recently, I have become very interested in the idea of life purpose coaching, something I discovered quite by accident.  I have been professionally coached by individuals who are talented writers, psychotherapists and who have assisted me in my own life's journey.  My personal philosophy of coaching has been augmented significantly by many others whose life journeys have profoundly influenced my own.  I have been influenced significantly by some who lived within the last century, and other mentors who lived millennia ago. (Also push the Life's Work Quotes tab)

My personal exposure to psychology (the study or knowledge of the soul), while it has been the fruit of my own passionate life quest, inevitably led me to an appreciation of mythology -- and especially to the life's work of Joseph Campbell.  Someone once said that a myth is a big secret that everyone knows, but that can only be told in the form of a story.  I was powerfully drawn to the Greek myth of Psyche and Eros.  When we connect with this level of the psyche we begin to remember our destiny.   And, after all, what could possibly evoke more joy than such a discovery, regardless of one's age, social status, or life circumstances?  For this is surely one of life's highest achievements.  At some point we become aware that our time here is really very brief.  It is not a dress rehearsal.   And the Kingdom of Heaven is to be found here on earth, the connection to the Divine for which we all yearn, is not far from us.  We must only know where to look and how to recognize it.  And this often is greatly aided by having a guide who has taken a similar journey too.  While the practice of coaching is distinct from therapy, and indeed other professional help may be recommended when deeper psychological issues are indicated, any work around the concept of meaning automatically connects one to the deeper levels of the psyche.

My journey is not over and I have "miles to go before I sleep."  My understanding is growing yet incomplete.  Wholeness not perfection, for me, is a worthy goal.  I have resolved to be forever a "work in progress."  But my own earnest search has given me some claim to assist those who welcome a fellow seeker along on their own path.  We are all at different places on the quest toward wholeness.  I can only claim the truth as I have found it.  You must ultimately find your own way, verified against your own truth.  I only know that this is the right path for me.  I believe that the greatest joy a human being can know is to feel connected with the infinite purpose, the Divine.  That is when we begin to connect with meaning, our purpose in being, and the unique destiny that we are privileged to co-create in harmony with divine source within.

I would like to help you discover the meaningful life you so earnestly desire and from which you may feel disconnected, as I had been.  To do so would bring me great joy.  Having a traveling companion may make all the difference in your life, as it has in mine.  If you would like to discuss where you are on your journey and on what road you are now traveling please give me a call.  Perhaps your road is a road not taken by most people -- or by anyone else.  You have only to take a few steps on the road to begin your journey of discovery.